1 B2 idiomatic informal
To make someone more receptive, agreeable, or sympathetic through kind treatment or persuasion.
"She brought him his favourite meal to soften him up before asking for a pay rise."
separable
soften up
B2 neutral separable transitive/intransitive
To make someone more receptive, agreeable, or emotionally open; or to weaken resistance before a main attack or negotiation.
In plain English
To make someone less strict or hard to deal with so they'll agree with you more easily.
What does "soften up" mean?
3 meanings, ordered from most common to least. Color-coded by CEFR level.
2 C1 idiomatic neutral
In military or strategic contexts, to weaken an enemy's defences or resolve with preliminary attacks before a major assault.
"The air force spent two days softening up the enemy positions before the ground troops advanced."
separable
3 B1 neutral
To become or make something physically softer or less rigid.
"Leave the butter out of the fridge to soften up before you mix it into the dough."
separable
Literal vs figurative
Words literally mean
To make something physically softer — the figurative sense of reducing mental or emotional resistance is an idiomatic extension.
Actually means
To make someone less strict or hard to deal with so they'll agree with you more easily.
Usage tip
Used in personal, business, and military contexts. In personal contexts it often means warming someone up emotionally. In military or strategic contexts it means attacking to weaken before the main assault.
Words that pair with "soften up"
Natural word combinations native speakers use most often.
resistance opponent audience target defences customer
How to conjugate "soften up"
The five tense forms you'll use most often.
Base
soften up
I/you/we/they
3rd person
softens up
he/she/it
Past simple
softened up
yesterday
Past participle
softened up
have + pp
-ing form
softening up
continuous
Hear "soften up" in the wild
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Other ways to say "soften up"
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