1 C1 idiomatic neutral
To discover within oneself the emotional strength, generosity, or will to do something one finds very difficult.
"After everything he did, I couldn't find it in myself to stay angry at him."
find it in oneself
C1 neutral transitive
To discover within oneself the will, courage, generosity, or emotional capacity to do something difficult or unexpected.
In plain English
To realize you have enough courage or kindness inside you to do something hard.
What does "find it in oneself" mean?
2 meanings, ordered from most common to least. Color-coded by CEFR level.
2 C1 idiomatic formal
Used as an appeal (often 'find it in your heart') asking someone to show mercy, generosity, or compassion.
"Could you find it in your heart to give the child another chance?"
Usage tip
A fixed idiomatic expression. Almost always used in a conditional or negative context: 'I can't find it in myself to forgive him' or 'Could you find it in your heart to help?' The variant 'find it in one's heart' adds a layer of emotional warmth or appeal.
Words that pair with "find it in oneself"
Natural word combinations native speakers use most often.
forgive apologize help forgiveness heart courage
How to conjugate "find it in oneself"
The five tense forms you'll use most often.
Base
find it in oneself
I/you/we/they
3rd person
finds it in oneself
he/she/it
Past simple
found it in oneself
yesterday
Past participle
found it in oneself
have + pp
-ing form
finding it in oneself
continuous
Hear "find it in oneself" in the wild
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